A Mother’s Struggle: The Pain Of Infertility

Anonymous

This story is about the challenges I faced with my husband to become a Mom. The one thing I wish a knew at the time was more people to talk to about fertility, and so I hope I can share this story for someone who is also struggling.

My husband and I knew before we were married that we wanted children. We also knew there was a very real possibility that we would not be able to. My husband was his parent’s only biological child, and they ended up adopting when they were unable to get pregnant again. So, before we even started trying we discussed what it would look like if we did end up going through fertility treatment or adopting.

When we finally did start trying, I was off my birth control pill for 3 months prior to make sure it was out of my body. We both did full physicals with our family doctor, and openly discussed with him that we wanted to start trying and that we were concerned. He assured us that 85% off couple get pregnant in the first year, so not to worry right away.

For the first 5 months, we tried without any aids. That did not work out. After that I started tracking my ovulation. Taking my basal body temperature was somewhat accurate, but it really just confirmed that I had had an ovulation after the fact. The ovulation predictor kits turned out to be the easiest to read, and they confirmed that my ovulation lined up regularly in my menstrual cycle. And so, we would “schedule” when we had sex between a positive on the ovulation predictor and my basal body temperature increasing.

This continued for another 7 months until we hit one year since we started trying and we decided to go see our doctor again. He made a referral to the Regional Fertility Program (RFP), and gave us a blood requisition to do initial testing of hormone levels in both my husband and I, as well as semen analysis for my husband.

It was about 2 months to get an appointment with the RFP. They called within a few weeks to set it up, and sent us a 5 page intake form that included family and personal medical history. On our first appointment, we were given further blood tests, and ultrasound for each of us, semen analysis test for my husband, and a dye test (known as HSG or hysterosalpingogram) for me. We would return in about another 2 months.

The testing took a lot more time for me than my husband. Because fertility in a women is dependent on her menstrual cycle, the testing had to be booked at certain points in my cycle to be effective. Since I also travel for work, it was a challenge to ensure I had all the testing done in time for our doctor to get the results.

Some details on the testing in case you are concerned:

  • The man’s ultrasound was of the testicles, so fairly simple. The women’s was both an external (similar to pregnancy) and internal exam with a wand inserted into the vagina. It didn’t hurt, was just slightly uncomfortable.
  • The semen test, according to my husband, was more just awkward than anything else. Because they have to test a live sample, they set up all the patients to come in at the start of the day. The men avoided eye contact, and did their business as quick as possible!
  • The HSG dye test is potentially painful for women. I had a twinge of pain as the dye went in, but nothing afterwards. I also did not have much discharge, but some women do so they do give you a pad at the hospital just in case. There were x-ray technicians operating the machine, but it’s a doctor from the fertility clinic who inserts the dye. Again, it’s done at the start of the day, and there’s a large group of women doing the testing around the same time.

When we were referred to the RFP, we also told our parents what was happening. Besides that we kept it quiet, as we thought the constant questions about how it was going would increase our already high stress level. Each month was tougher and tougher. I did find out later that I was not hiding my stress very well; my manager thought I was going to quit, and a colleague thought I had a miscarriage! I think it is a stressful situation for anyone though, and would just encourage anyone going through it to be mindful of managing your stress.

After all this, the same month I had the dye test done I finally got pregnant. It was completely unexpected. I actually started my normal spotting before my period was due, and told my husband we were not successful that month. In the days following the spotting subsided and I started to get excited. One day after my missed period I took a pregnancy test and confirmed that we were finally having a baby.

We did keep our appointment to follow up with the RFP, and they did confirm that we have a diagnosed fertility problem that may prevent future pregnancies but should not impact the current pregnancy. Luckily it was something we could take actions to mitigate, and given that we had time now we chose to do that. We are still waiting on the results to know if it worked, hence we are keeping things private until we know more.

I hope this does encourage parents dealing with infertility to keep trying. It took us 15 months for a spontaneous pregnancy – and for my husband’s parents it took 5 years. You can’t give up on that hope, just make sure you are taking care of yourself in the process.

Celebrating 5 Years with Mommy Connections Calgary

“Congratulations! You made it out of your house and to class.”

I will never forget those words.

March 2013 I was a new Mom with a 2 month old baby, I had signed up for a Mom & Baby class with Mommy Connections in Toronto and was sitting at my very first class. I was on time, my baby was dressed, I had a shower that day, we were both fed, healthy and *mostly* happy. It was a miracle all of those things happened because the simple ability to get myself and my new baby out of the house, didn’t feel easy at all. So yes, I took the congratulations and patted myself on the back.

Little did I know, that day, that class and that business would change the course of my future.

My husband and I moved from Toronto back to Calgary within the first year of my daughter being born, for many reasons and we haven’t regretted it, not even for a day. The quality of life, less car time, more family time, mountains close by, camping, hiking, skiing, the city, community, people, all of it appealed to us and still does.

In the transition out to Calgary, I was unable to transfer out west with my job, so I had to make the difficult decision to quit. I started exploring opportunities to work from home and somehow, I found my way back to Mommy Connections. The opportunity to license the Calgary market was available, so I signed up.

January 2013 I ran my first ever Mommy Connections class on the exact day of my daughter’s first birthday. I thought it would bring us good luck and boy has it ever. I began by running 2 Mom & Baby classes and 1 Mom & Tot class and now five years later, we run anywhere from 8-12 classes per session, 2 levels of Mom and Baby classes, plus Mini Movers and Travelling Tots.

To say this community and this business has been a good thing for me, would be an understatement. I am in awe of how many women trusted Mommy Connections, believed in our programs and supported this community from the start. I am also amazed at how this business has truly awakened a love of learning, growing and building a business, that I never knew I had.

I have so many women, so many men, so many presenters, so many supporters, so many people, including my entire family, to thank for all that this business has become. Behind every business is a community of people who believe in the dream and the vision, and boy have I had one amazing community of supporters.

Today, on my daughters 6th birthday, I took time to reflect on what this business, this company and mostly, what this community has taught me. And what I’ve learned most, is that we truly as women and as mothers are are stronger together.  When one woman cries, we cry with her. When one woman celebrates, we celebrate too. I’ve never been a witness to more strength than in one of my Mommy Connections classes, when another woman has fallen, her sisters will pick her up. We are truly stronger together.

Thank you to all the women (and men) I have met along this five year journey. I am so blessed to have found this community and to have had such support. I am ever grateful for each and everyone of you who I have had the pleasure of meeting and spending time with. Your support has meant so much to me and my family. Thank you!

I raise my glass to all of you and I look forward to serving this community for many years to come!

Stay Connected,

Katherine

16 Days Of Giveaways: Winner List

Thank you to everyone who took the time to enter our contest for 16 amazing daily prizes starting back on December 1st. We have some incredible businesses here in Calgary, especially those run by our Mompreneurs in the community! Thank you to the below businesses who donated one of the 16 Days Of Giveaway prizes. We have written the name of the winner next to the prize, congratulations to all our winners! 

Balletiques – Mitchelle M.
Make It Night – Lauren S. & Andrea J.
Hot Mama Fitness – Sarah W.
Lil Orchard Baby Food – Jessica B.
Lori Pohl Massage & Wellness – Heidi L.
A Day In The Life Of A Mom – Kristy L.
Princess Parties – Barby P.
Lisa Handfield Lawyer – Lindsey D.
DIY Kids Cuts – Katherine P.
Bless This House Realty Team – Alissa F.
Yellow Canary Apparel Ltd. – Jenn B.
Katrine Mauer Photography – Tracy N.
Jammy Time Sleep Solutions – Steph S.
Mommy Connections Calgary  –  Elisa, Brittany, Tasha, Meg, Amber, Julia, Laura, J. Milne, B. Klascowski, Deanne
SensaKids  – Maria S.

If you still have last minute gifts, we encourage you to shop local and support one of our local mompreneurs above! For those of you who are winners, I have sent you an email as well as the owner of the business to connect you two so you can get your prize!  They will then be in touch with you in regards to collecting your prize! 

Thank you once again for such a great 16 Days Of Giveaways! It feels so great to give back to such a deserving group of women in our community.

Beaners Casting Call: Submissions by Tuesday December 18th

Beaners Casting Call

Subject: Casting Call!

We’ve partnered with children’s hair salon Beaners Fun Cuts to host a fun family party and photoshoot in one.

If your little one(s) (between the ages of 1.5 and 10) love the spotlight AND you’re comfortable with them being photographed and featured online, we’d love for you to throw your hat into the ring for this free and fun event. There will be food, free haircuts and lots of fun!

To apply for a spot, simply reply to this email with a photo of your child(ren), their age(s) and a phone number by end of day Tuesday Dec 18th.

Beaners will choose approximately 10 families/children to take part in the event. Though they aren’t looking for any specific physical characteristics, they do want to achieve a balanced mix of genders, ages and hair types and lengths.

Full details:

Location: 9950 Macleod Trail SE

Date: Sunday Jan 13

Time: 1-2pm or 2:30 to 3:30pm (participants will be assigned one of two timeslots)

Important: Successful applicants will be required to sign a waiver allowing Beaners to use any and all images of their children on their website, in promo materials and on social media. Only those who are comfortable doing so should apply.

If your child has been selected, you will hear from us (by phone) by Friday Dec 21st with the good news and further instructions.

If you have any questions about this opportunity, please don’t hesitate to reply to this email and ask away.

Email Contact: katherine@mommyconnections.ca

Use It Or Lose It: Sierra Dental

Sponsored by Sierra Dental

We’re approaching that time of the year again- “use it or lose it!” Each year, many clients lose out on hundreds of dollars through their dental insurance provider, simply because time has slipped away. We know life gets busy and before you know it, another year has come and gone and you have not seen your dentist. Don’t forget to take advantage of your remaining dental insurance benefits before the end of the year!

4 Reasons to use Your Dental Insurance Before the End of the Year

1. Unused Benefits Do Not Roll Over Most insurance companies have a dental benefit deadline of December 31st and unfortunately, any unused benefits cannot be transferred to other family members and do not carry over into the new year. Therefore, any insurance benefit you have not used will be lost.

2. Dental Conditions Can Worsen Many patients need dental treatment, whether it’s restorations to treat decay or periodontal treatment to clean teeth. Postponing treatment is counterproductive, as dental problems can only worsen over time, often requiring more invasive and costly procedures if treatment is delayed. At Sierra Dental, our goal is to provide all of our patients with preventive and proactive care that is in their best interests, lowering the risk of requiring extensive and expensive treatment.

3. Premium = Prepayment Most people pay a monthly premium for their insurance policy or a portion of their bi-weekly salary has been deducted from their paycheque. This implies that you have already paid indirectly towards your care – all you have to do now is to get the work done!

4. Policy Changes The end of a policy year provides an opportunity for employers and insurance companies to make changes to the benefits provided to patients. Historically, many employers switch to less expensive policies, and insurers modify their policies to reduce benefits as both seek to reduce their expenses. These changes often take effect on the renewal date, which is often January 1st of each year. Waiting for the new year to proceed with treatment can result in reduced benefits and higher copayments for you, as a patient.

We advise that you call now to schedule your ongoing preventive maintenance care with our office. Do not wait until December to reserve an appointment, as our doctors and hygienists get booked up well in advance, with university students home from school, kids and parents who are on winter break, and patients who want to use up their benefits by December 31st.

Our office offers appointments throughout the week including evenings, Saturdays and Sundays. We always welcome new patients, emergencies and offer free orthodontic consultations. We are committed to providing the best possible care to you, as we rely on your referrals for our growth.

Our general dentists, Periodontist and Orthodontist collectively provide a full range of treatment including dental implants, root canal therapy, wisdom tooth surgery, sedation, periodontics, Invisalign and traditional orthodontics, and cosmetic treatments. Most importantly, our Preventive Dental Care Program and Children’s Program aim to reduce the risk of you and your family requiring more invasive and costly treatment.

We have 2 locations in SW Calgary and one in Airdrie. Call us today at 403-297-9600 to schedule your appointment, or visit us at www.sierradental.ca.

Estate Documents & Why It’s Important

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO GET YOUR ESTATE DOCUMENTS IN ORDER?

Do you have a constant nagging feeling that you should get your will done, but you still haven’t gotten around to doing it? Does getting your estate in order just continue to get pushed to the bottom of your to-do list? 

I have met many individuals who constantly tell me that they should get their estate documents drafted; yet typically, since there is no urgency to their situation, it gets pushed aside.

As new parents, we often focus on the celebration of the birth of a new life.  As a result, we spend endless hours planning a nursery before our child is born, or figuring out where our child should go for daycare.

We all know, however, that when something unfortunate happens, it can happen so quickly – and it is then that we wish we had taken the time to make those plans.

Although it is more enjoyable to plan the nursery or to find suitable childcare than to think about topics such as death or incapacity, we at Global Equity Law believe it is equally important to plan in advance for those events – especially when minor children are involved.

As a parent, taking the time to put the proper estate documents in place is extremely significant for your children if something happens to you. These documents will determine both who will raise your children and who will handle any funds allotted to them while they are held in trust.

Why Visit a Lawyer

The best way to obtain that peace of mind of knowing your minor children are taken care of, and to ensure that your wishes has been properly conveyed, is to seek the help of a lawyer to prepare your estate.  By doing so, not only do you ensure that your wishes are followed, but it also relieves the stress for your family and loved ones during their time of grief.  Your family and loved ones can then spend their time focusing on healing from their loss rather than having to spend their time wondering and guessing how to best manage or distribute your assets.

In the event you don’t set out your wishes in a will, you leave it up to the government and the Courts to decide how your estate will be handled and distributed, and who will be the guardians of your children.

Why You Shouldn’t Just Buy a Will Kit

There are plenty of templates and kits available for purchase claiming that you can write your estate documents using their forms.  However, you cannot be certain that it meets the legal requirements for wills in Alberta; especially if the websites or the manufacturers of these products are from the United States.  Furthermore, even if the kit technically meets the requirements present in Alberta, if you do not fill out the documents properly or fail to abide by the legal requirements in signing the documents, the will could still be considered invalid. If your will isn’t properly drafted it causes additional unnecessary stress for your family and loved ones, and is open to being contested.

Another reason why it is best to consult a lawyer is that not all property that you own forms part of your estate to be distributed in accordance to your will.  By consulting with a lawyer about what property is included and what is not, it may affect how you make investments during your lifetime – and how you plan your children’s trusts.

Lastly, a lawyer can confirm whether or not you can exclude certain family members in your will, as well as advise you regarding the rules around your appointment of guardians – especially if they do not live in Alberta.  It is important to talk to a lawyer to minimize the risks of a guardian appointment being challenged after your death.

Choose Peace of Mind

In the end, the goal is to give you the peace of mind knowing your estate documents have been correctly drafted, and you have properly appointed personal representatives, trustees and guardians.

At Global Equity Law, we are committed to helping individuals and families throughout the various seasons and transitions of their lives.  One of these significant transitions involves becoming a parent. We offer a comprehensive Life and Legacy estate package with additional documents to care for your children. Contact us today to set-up an appointment so we can help you to best protect your family.

Unique Children’s Christmas Gift!

Every Christmas, parents are always looking for the best most awesome, ‘in’ toy of the season (yes Paw Patrol Tower, we are looking at you!). Yet we know that we should be buying things that are priceless, like more time with us and more experiences rather than toys. So we’ve come up with a truly unique way to buy something that is unique, connected and will make your child’s eyes light up to see it!
What is it?
Yellow Canary Apparel, has simplified things and has made something that will truly bring joy! It’s a unique piece of apparel featuring your child’s artwork! Let us help by creating a truly unique gift for parents, grandparents, or the kids with our Made By Collection.
How does it work? 
Glad you asked! You submit your child’s artwork and choose the piece of apparel you want it to appear on. We create full detail, full colour shirts with your child’s artwork! Show off their talent by wearing their artwork around on a t-shirt or  sweatshirt, or let them display their artwork proudly on a shirt in their size!
We also offer our cute Monster Collection. Have your child or toddler express themselves with one of our fun, cheerful monster shirts. You can even add custom text to make the t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, or sweatshirt truly  unique!
Check out Yellow Canary Apparel and order a shirt today! They will also be joining us for our Holiday Party as part of our mini market! Thanks Yellow Canary for an awesome Christmas idea!

Baby Sleep Tips For The Holiday Season

By Shan Roth

Jammy Time Sleep Solutions

As I drive down the street, I see Christmas trees shining through frosty windows and twinkling lights are popping up on houses throughout my neighbourhood. The Christmas season is almost upon us.

And I am sure by this point you have received a call from your mother-in-law asking (or maybe telling!)you the plans for Christmas.

You fondly remember going to your parents and even your in-laws for Christmas because someone did the cooking for you, you could sleep in and just take in all the season had to offer.  After all, you were on Christmas holidays!

But the days of staying up into the wee hours of the morning, sipping rum and egg nog by the fire and crashing wherever there was room have long passed.

You have a baby now.  Christmas is such an exciting and magical time with children.   And so many cherished memories will be made during the season.

But things just got a little bit more complicated!  Suddenly spending 5 days at the in-laws doesn’t sound quite as appealing with a baby in tow.

Are you worried about unsolicited advice from Grandma?

What if your baby cries and keeps everyone up all night?

Where will everyone sleep?

How do I manage to get my baby to bed on time?

All these questions are dancing around in your head!

With a little preparation and planning,  your little one can sleep well during the holiday season.

  • Respect your child’s sleep needs and do not over-schedule.Plan for some down time where your child can have naps that are not on the go.  It is tempting to see as any people as possible, but it will just leave everyone miserable at the end of the day.  You won’t have a good visit with Great Aunt Edna if your baby is crying the whole time or your toddler is having a melt down.
  • An occasional car nap or slightly later bedtime is okay.Most children can tolerate this without too much disruption to their overall sleep patterns. However, consecutive days of naps on the go and later bedtimes will wreak havoc on their sleep.  You still want to aim for no more than 20% of naps out and about.
  • Your child may test the boundaries and protest more in their new sleep environment until they get used to it. If that happens, you might start to get very nervous because your baby, who has been happily chatting herself to sleep for weeks, is now crying again, and your mother-in-law is standing outside the door repeatedly asking you if you’re sure the baby is okay.  You may start to give into this pressure and bend your expectations for your baby’s sleep.
  • Deal with it the same way you would at home by going in and out of the room every 10 minutes and provide some quick reassurance.  Be very consistent for the first few days and nights and your child will be used to their new sleep space and go back to sleeping well, which will make for an enjoyable Christmas for everyone.
  • Bring your child’s blankie or stuffie, sleep sack and white noise. Set up a sleep space that is dark and separate from you.Hallways, bathrooms and closets can work well to set up baby’s temporary room.  There is a great product out there called the SnoozeShade that fits over most playpens. It is a breathable, blackout cover that works great for blocking out light and providing some separation from your baby if you happen to be sharing a room.
  • As tempting as it might be to bed share for a few nights, it is not a good option. Often your child will decide this is his new preferred location to sleep and you may find yourself back to square one when you return home.
  • If you have to take a plane ride, it is best to plan ahead and do whatever you need to do to keep your child comfortable and occupied for the journey. He may have a nap in your arms and that is okay.
  • If you are doing a driving trip, planning to drive during nap time works well. It is just best to ensure that all naps are not happening in the car. And stop and take breaks to eat and stretch!  Your child needs this too!

I wish you a season of precious memories, hearts full of love and silent nights!

Shan – Jammy Time Sleep Solutions 

Win the 5 Days to a Better Night’s Sleep on-line course from Jammy Time Sleep Solutions! This package includes instant and lifetime access to the on-line course 5 Days to a Better Night’s Sleep, one 20 minute support call with Shan Roth – paediatric sleep expert and access to a private Facebook support group. Please enter here to win http://gojammytime.com/mommyconnections

This contest closes on Nov 27th at 11:59pm. If you are struggling with sleep and can’t wait for the draw date check out our 5 Days to a Better Night Sleep http://gojammytime.com/5dayscourse and enter code iamtired to get $20 off the course. Cheers to better sleep!

P.S: If you purchase the course and happen to be the lucky winner, I will refund you your money!!!

Job Posting: Program Manager & Social Media Manager

We are looking for some amazing people to add to our dream team! Please take a look at the following job opportunities and see if you think you’d be a fit with our organization! We are all about community and connection so if this is one of your core values, think about sending in an application! There are two postings, we will require the following for each position:

  1. Please send a cover letter and resume to our director Katherine at katherinemcyyc@gmail.com. In the cover letter, let us know WHY you are applying, WHY you think you’ll be a great addition to our dream team and as well if you have taken a program with us before.
  2. Deadline for application for both of these jobs is November 18th. Please do NOT contact us, we will contact you if you are chosen for an interview.
  3. In person interviews will be held during the last two weeks of November, with the two successful candidates chosen and beginning in early December. Training done during December (prior to the holidays) with both starting in January after the holidays.
Program Manager – Mommy Connections Calgary
* The successful candidate is someone who is organized and efficient, who has an administration background and is capable of working with and managing a team. This person will be working from home, so highly motivated, and is able to work during daytime hours primarily. Here are the details of the position:
1. Program Planning (planning 8-12 programs every session – 6 sessions a year)
2. Facilitator Documents & Agendas
3. Business Development (2-4 new businesses per month)
4. Responding to emails regarding programs (inquiries)
5. Rebooking presenters if they cancel last minute
6. Manage facilitator booking, contracts and invoice checking
7. Managing day to day of programs – any issues, you are the first point of contact
8. Weekly email to Director, Administrator and social media manager of what is coming up in the week and making sure all tasks are being attended to (keeping the team organized and efficient)
9. Managing workshops and events – booking facility space and presenter – following up with presenter, etc.
10. Any other duties as discussed and agreed upon.
Approximate Hours a Week: 15 hours (2 – 4 hours a day) * These hours will be daytime, but some may be in the evening. You will be working primarily from home with the occasional time you are required to attend programs, events and or workshops.
Compensation: To be discussed based on experience.
***
Social Media Manager:
The successful candidate is someone who loves social media, helping women make connections and understands the needs and wants of pre and post natal Moms! There are no ‘set’ hours of day, but there is a minimum requirement of posts and engagement on a regular basis required. You do not work at an office, you will be working at home, so you must be highly motivated. Here are the details:
1. Create content on Facebook and Instagram on a weekly basis
2. At minimum 2 – 3 posts per day on facebook and instagram
3. Creating Facebook events and doing instagram live stories (sometimes on location)
4. Responding to people on facebook and instagram (answering questions and emails)
*** 5. Option of doing ‘live’ hits at classes
6. Posting photos taken by facilitators, from events and workshops
7. Posting positive feedback as well from participants
8. Any other social media duties as discussed and agreed upon.
Approximate Hours a week: 3-5 hours a week * These hours can be anytime of the day and you will be working from home, with the occasional time you are required to attend programs, events and or workshops.

Compensation: To be discussed based on experience.

 

Tame Your Little Devil – Life Saving Tips for Managing Tantrums

Originally posted by Bright Path Kids – the original article can be found here. 

Tantrums are tough. In the grocery store line up. At bedtime. When it is time to leave the house. Tantrums are tough. When times are tough, it can be difficult to manage our emotions and be calm. Here are some tips to help manage tantrums and try to keep your cool at the same time.

It helps to understand that when a child has a tantrum, they are communicating something to us. Often it is that they are not equipped to deal with the situation. They cannot handle the strong emotions they are experiencing, such as frustration, disappointment, or anger. Here are steps to help you help your child in these moments:

1. Validate the emotion

It is important to accept and validate your child’s feelings, even if you think they should not feel that way. By labeling the emotion, you help your child understand their feelings and then you can work toward how to handle them in a positive way. Empathy reduces levels of arousal.

  • “I can see you are very angry. Maybe I can help you with that.”
  • “You are frustrated that we have to go when you are playing your favorite game. I understand that it is hard.”
  • Try to get below your child’s eye level and use a very soft voice/whisper.

2. Set limits and be consistent

By showing empathy, you are not telling the child that their behaviour is OK. You are telling them that you understand their emotion.

Ask questions to help them problem solve (if they are calm enough to be able to engage with you) – “What is a good thing to do when we feel upset?” “It is OK to be mad, but it is not OK to hurt anyone. What else can we do when we are mad?”

  • “It is OK to be mad, but it is not OK to be mean.”
  • “Calm first, talk second. Do you need help to calm down or can you do that on your own?”
  • “Do you need a break?” “…to try again?” “…help?”
  • “I’m curious about what happened here…”
  • Try helping the child engage in actions to help calm – an action like jumping, counting backwards, deep breaths – and then prompt them to ask themselves “What do I need?”

3. Calming options

If the child is too upset to engage in any other options or in problem solving, they need time to calm down. Do not leave your child alone to do this unless they want that. Use TIME-IN instead of TIME-OUT.

  • It is not a punishment. You are teaching your child the skills they need to be able to self-regulate and calm.
  • You may give them a choice of where they want to calm down.
  • If they need help to settle, ask “Do you need some help?”
  • Set up a calming box containing items that the child finds relaxing – books, silly putty, stress ball, pinwheel (to blow for deep breaths), etc. Teach your child how to use them during calm times, and then support them to use them when they are upset.

To try to prevent tantrums (because who doesn’t want that!), try the following:

  • Tell your child the expectations before the situation arises. For example, “We are going grocery shopping and I will not be buying you anything from the store. You can have a treat when we get home.”
  • Provide as much structure and routine as possible. Let children know when there will be changes to the schedule.
  • Give your child two choices when possible.
  • Avoid power struggles – if you need to, tell your child, “I know you don’t like my answer, but I am not going to argue with you about it” and walk away and DO NOT ENGAGE. You can offer them options to engage in instead, but that is it.
  • Teach skills – help your child develop skills they may be lacking which can cause tantrums – social skills, frustration tolerance, calming skills, deep breathing, give and take, sharing, clean anger versus dirty anger.

The most important thing to remember when helping your child through a tantrum……TAKE A DEEP BREATH. It will get better.😊

Resources:

Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel Siegel. No Drama Discipline.

Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel Siegel. The Yes Brain.

Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel Siegel. The Whole Brain Child.

www.copingskillsforkids.com

www.lemonlimeadventures.com

www.parents.com

www.positiveparenting.com

www.triplep-parenting.ca – There are Triple P Parenting Programs offered throughout Canada if you are interested in learning further strategies for parenting.