“This Too Shall Pass”… Unfortunately

April 14th Mama Blogger – Marni Zurowski 

Marni lives in Regina Beach with her husband, Brennan, and their one-year-old daughter, Aubrey.  She and her husband met through eHarmony and it didn’t take them long to decide they wanted to start a family.  She is a stay-at-home-mom, working less than part-time as an assistant at her mother-in-law’s real estate brokerage, Cottage & Country Realty Ltd., where her husband is a REALTOR®.  In her free time, she dabbles with photography, loves cooking, and always looks forward to enjoying a glass of wine with her husband once their daughter has gone to bed.

“This Too Shall Pass”… Unfortunately 

Since a young age, I always wanted to be a mom, so when I had my daughter in 2016, the idea of going back to work at the end of my maternity leave and being without her daily crippled me. Thankfully, my mother-in-law graciously took me on-board her real estate team as her assistant and I was still able to spend the majority of my time with my daughter. As the busy season of real estate picked up though, I found myself needing to work more and decided it was time to consider daycare for my energetic one-year-old. I was very lucky and found someone right away to take her two days a week.

Today was her first day and I surprised myself. I thought I was going to go in and have no issues walking out but the second her hand left mine and that door closed behind me something felt different. I thought I would handle it with ease since I’ve left her with others many times before, but as I got back in my car, I began to cry. I’m not sure if it was because I was sad that I would be without her all day or if it was because my little girl was growing up too fast. It seemed like yesterday we had just brought her home from the hospital and now she was becoming an independent toddler.

She is our little sponge picking up on everything we say and do from watching and then mimicking me put on my makeup, pointing to her belly and nose when asked where they are or putting the phone to her ear and saying “hi”. To others her milestones are tiny but to her and to us, they are huge! Seeing her learn something new every day and watch her personality take shape brings me so much happiness. My heart swells as I watch her face, whether coming to me in joy or sadness, as she runs into my open arms and squeezes her arms around my neck. Hearing her giggle as she runs up and down the hallway chasing the dog or listening to her curious cooing as she searches for me during hide and go seek are enough to make my heart explode. Watching as she learns to brush her teeth, use a spoon or close a door makes me so proud.

When she let go of my hand at daycare and took off to play with her new friends, I wondered how long she will need me and when will be the last time she will hold my hand. Slowly but surely, she will need me less and less but I rest at ease knowing even I still need my mom so I desperately hope she knows I will always be there whenever she needs me. I can’t stop time so my only option is to cherish every cuddle, enjoy every giggle and hold on to every moment.

 

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About Jaclyn

I am the mommy of Everly and Harlow, the wife of Brett, and was a teacher in my former life. I grew up in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan with my mom, stepdad, and my two younger sisters. I come from a big, blended family, and love to spend time with everyone as often as I can. Some of my hobbies are reading, crafting, and watching awful reality TV.

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