I’m a 24-year-old wife and new mom to our daughter “Baby G”, as I refer to her in my blogs. She is the new adventure in our marriage and the smile bringer to our everyday. She is the main character in my stories lately, as she teaches me something new every day. I love writing about her and the everyday happenings of mommy life, so I’m extremely excited to join this blogging group!
I used this cliché of a title for a reason. I’m sure you’ve heard those four words more times than the amount of diapers any mom has changed. “Oh well, you can’t be perfect.” Even as I read that back, it comes off my tongue with a defeated tone, like you could have and should have done something differently, but an imaginary force kept you from being something less than great. “You can’t be perfect” carries with it a melancholy attitude that neither consoles nor provides confidence. It’s a communist term, aiming to remind you that you’re average, have always been average, and will always be average, no matter what you do. But having said all that, there is some uplifting truth to the old adage.
Most of us want to live in a clean house, make delicious healthy suppers, be a romantic, funny partner, keep up all of our outside commitments with an impressive vigor, and raise our little kiddos to be not only smart, but let’s be real, the smartest. We take pride in what we do as moms. But besides being exhausting, doing all of this perfectly all the time is impossible. On mornings when I wash all the bedding, get laundry sorted, work out, cut the grass and have supper in the slow cooker by noon, little G (notice I don’t refer to her as Baby G anymore…tear) is seriously craving attention. As much as I try to do these jobs with her, including her as my little minion of a helper, she only finds pulling clothes out of the hamper for me enjoyable for so long. On mornings when we go to the playground first thing, play alphabet letters on the fridge, eat bananas on our own instead of being cut up, and make a chalk masterpiece together on the sidewalk, I can’t help the cloud of guilt that looms from the un-emptied dishwasher, my untouched running shoes, and the supper that hasn’t even been thought up yet.
Before I was a mom I would’ve had the solution. That’s easy, play a little, do some work, play some more. Haha! I mean, that’s what I do, that’s how I get by, but it’s not a solution to being perfect or getting everything done. The reality is that there is way too much to do as a mom to ever accomplish it all…perfectly. But here’s what I’ve learned since becoming a mom. The goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to find contentment and happiness in not being perfect.
Some days I look great when my hubby gets home from work, and other days I’m rocking the classic pony with sweats and a Blue Jays t-shirt. He still loves me. Some days we eat marinated chicken breast with broccoli and brown rice, and other days I text my hubby and ask him to pick up McDonalds on the way home. Our family’s healthy. Some days Little G gets mommy’s full attention for a good portion of the day. Often on those days she comes up with some cool new realization or skill that we can brag about to grandma and grandpa, or share via Facebook. And other days, she gets dragged around from appointments to Wal-Mart to getting an oil change. On those days, she lets us know she’s not thrilled about it, and we usually pay for it in the evening. The guilt from those days may never fully disappear. But I try everyday to remind myself I’m actually pretty cool, and that I’m doing a pretty great job.
It’s true, you can’t be perfect. But you can be awesome anyways. Find people who remind you of this and listen to them. A good place to start is with a hug and slobbery kiss from your littles. These are the moments that remind me that I love being a mom so darn much…even if I’m not perfect.