My name is Christina Hnatiuk. I am a new mom of a 6 month old baby boy, Marshall. I am married to a wonderful man, we will have been together for 5 years, married for two. I work full time in Human Resources and part time as a Ukrainian dance instructor. I love to try new things, especially new restaurants and food. In my free time, which is hardly ever, I love to bake, specializing in cheesecakes. This is my first time writing a blog but I am looking forward to sharing my adventures in parenting with everyone!
Its 8:30 on any given weekday. I just got my little guy to sleep. I’m exhausted, there are clothes everywhere, dishes in the sink and floors to vacuum, but I am going to take a few minutes to scroll through social media on my phone. Not a wise choice. Sure, I deserve 5 minutes, which will turn into an hour, who am I kidding? This issue here is that I am already exhausted, probably irritable, and now I’m going to look at all those happy, cheerful, and relaxed Instagram posts and sit in a hole of self-pity. Those hashtags can really wear a person down when you are already feeling defeated. It’s a completely different world when you delve into social media. #momguilt
First off, the fitness posts. I’m going to start off by saying I think it’s really great that these people have found a passion for something that really betters their lives! But, man do I feel guilty when I look at those posts. Why? I see all these people getting up and doing workouts, and posting about them and all I can think about is, “who has time for that???” I work a full time job; I have a 2 year old, which in itself is a full time job, I have meetings, and swimming, and trying to see my friends, and a house to clean. Like seriously who has time for that? Not only that, but lets just say I did not bounce back from my pregnancy quite like I envisioned. I see other people who have, and although I know everyone is different and every body is different, I still feel like I could have done more. I should be working out everyday, and eating better. The thing is, my husband loves me even if I am not fit and thin, and my kid loves to hug me even if I’m a little squishy around the tummy. And isn’t that what matters? #livingmybestlife
I recently participated in a project where we had to share our mom truths. Mine was that I constantly compare my self to other moms and question every decision. Social media is no help in this situation. I have been very lucky in raising my son so far, and had no major issues. But as we progress through the toddler years I find myself comparing his progress to everyone else’s. “So and so’s two year old is already potty trained!” or “this persons kid sleeps through the night without a bottle.” My kid does neither of those things. I am constantly questioning if I screwed up somewhere along the way. The thing is my kiddo may not be potty trained, and is heavily addicted to his bottle, but he is also extremely smart and curious. He know over 200 words, loves books and music. He is so curious, and has no fear, which is a blessing and a curse. But most of all that kids is loved, not just by us, but his grandparents, and aunts and uncles, and literally everyone who meets him. They don’t care that he isn’t potty trained or is carrying around that bottle, they love his contagious smile and his funny little giggle. And that’s what matters. #momwin
I have also been very lucky so far to not pay for daycare. My parents and in-laws switch off watching my kiddo while I am at work. On social media I always see kids at day care or play dates and I think, “is he missing out?” they have all these activities with kids their own age, people praising their daycare provider, or preschool teacher. Am I taking advantage of my parents? I think at times they are overwhelmed, and probably to polite to admit it. Our family life is unconventional as my husband works seasonally 2.5 hours away and we only see him on weekends, I think our parents feel they need to help me out as much as possible! But I lay in bed, looking at stay at home moms, or kids out on play dates, or parents on field trips, and I wonder about if everyone in my situation is missing out on something. Recently some people I know where speaking about how excited they were to see their grandson who was coming to visit! They hadn’t seen him in at least over a year. I was shocked. It really brought me back to reality. My kiddo gets to spend every day with his grandparents. They get to watch him grow up and change, and that’s a great gift! Sure I still feel guilty that they spend their days essentially raising my child, but I try to remind myself that this is such a wonderful gift. We are so lucky to have amazing parents who want to help, and my little guys is so blessed to get to be with 4 people who already raised amazing children. I hope one day he grows up and understands how lucky he was to have so many people to help raise him, but more importantly love him. #blessed
Social media is wonderful, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes I believe it gives us unrealistic expectations of what our lives, could or should be. I have tried to make it a mission to show the good and bad aspects of our life as to not make someone else feel that #momguilt. We love to celebrate our wins, but are not afraid to share those losses either!
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” – Steve Furtick