My name is Erin. I’m a toddler mom and a pup mom. I had my son in May of 2016. Becoming a mom was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, and I have loved every moment of it. I am a stay at home writing mom. I write everyday after my son goes to bed. My partner occasionally works away from home. When he’s home, we spend as much family time together as possible, and when he’s gone, I practice my Solo Mom Life. Life isn’t always easy, but I try to be as grateful as I can. My son helps with that. You can find my blog at thewritingmomma.ca or follow me on Instagram and Facebook at thewritingmommalife
I’d like to tell you a few things about myself. I have wrinkles. I have grey hairs. I have a belly. I have circles under my eyes. Sometimes I feed my son ice cream for lunch. Sometimes my son gets screen time.
These are all things that should just be things. They shouldn’t be discussed by the world. (Obviously, the world does not discuss me specifically. But I am constantly seeing things that do judge all the above things.)
I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of being the target audience for somebody to tell me I’m not good enough. My face. My weight. My hair. My parenting.
I have friends, acquaintances, and strangers trying to offer me creams to help with my wrinkles. Mommas are judged by the wrinkles on our faces. As though we shouldn’t be proud of the life we’ve lived.
I have strangers trying to get me to try their exercise programs and weight loss items. I see posts about how we can be better.
What if I’m happy as I am?
What if I’m happy that I’m aging? What if I’m okay with my wrinkles? They mean I laugh. They mean I am alive.
What if I’m okay with my extra weight? Shocking right? I am in no way saying you shouldn’t exercise. Exercise is important. I want to be a strong mom both mentally and physically. I AM a strong mom. I’ll continue taking care of my body. However, if I want to enjoy a treat, I will. I won’t be hard on myself or exercise more to make up for enjoying food.
Am I happy with my grey hairs? Some days. I am struggling with grey hairs because they’re popping up all over the place. However, I will once again by grateful that I’m still here. Not everybody gets that. I may dye it someday, but that is more because I might want to try a different look. I’m always trying different looks. I’m happy with myself, but I’m also good with changes.
As for my parenting, I am well aware that ice cream for lunch is a terrible idea. So is fast food. I don’t do either of these a lot. In fact we do fast food once a month, if that. I can judge myself, I don’t need help from others. I choose not to be hard on myself for doing something once in a while. Especially if my kiddo isn’t eating.
Screen time? I am impressed with the parents that don’t let their kids watch any tv. I’m not one of them. Sometimes, I let him watch digger or Blippi or Cars. He enjoys it, and usually it’s because I need to get something done. (Like make him some ice cream. – That is a joke. I do make real meals for my family most of the time.) We also don’t rely on the screen. We do a lot of activities, and play all the time.
In fact, right now, as I’m writing this, my son is in my lap playing with play dough. I am multitasking like a Mom.
My point is I want to be me. Imperfections and all. Without somebody telling me I should change. I fully understand that I don’t have to listen to the world. I don’t listen to the world. I do just fine without adding the extra stress on myself. I don’t need it. Being a mom is stressful enough. I judge myself enough, I don’t need help from anybody else.
Mommas are judged if their kids don’t have enough fat in them. Fat is encouraged on kids. If somebody thinks your kid is skinny, they will tell you.
And yet they are also judged if they themselves have too much fat on them.
By the way, if your journey right now is about weight loss, getting rid of wrinkles, or grey hair, I am not here to judge. If you are happy with your decisions, and happy with yourself, that is all that matters.
Be proud of who you are, and forget about what the world wants you to be. If you see something in yourself that you feel needs to be changed, do it. I’ve made many changes throughout my life. Self improvement and self care are NEVER bad things, but I refuse to make my changes based on what somebody is telling me needs to be changed. (Unless it’s a doctor or trained professional.)
I love most of my imperfections. I will tell the whole world about them usually with pride. (Or to let people know that I see it before they tell me themselves.)
I tell my son all the time how wonderful he is, I want him to see me giving myself the same love.
It’s time to ditch the mom guilt and be happy with us.