Elyse Lalonde has always called Saskatoon home. She started on the motherhood journey in the Summer of 2015 when she had her son. Elyse is a working mom, always seeking a fine balance in life with a busy toddler. As a MommyConnections “alumnus,” she enjoys socializing with moms and babies her son’s age. Elyse has always enjoyed writing and journaling, and hopes to share her experiences (good, bad, and sarcastic) with the online parenting community in Saskatoon.
It’s been said a million times before, but this gig is hard.
There are days I wish I was better at this whole parenting thing. There are days I feel I fail my kid. There are days I feel like the opposite of a Supermom.
Nope, I’m not always Supermom. Should I strive to be?
Who is this Supermom, anyway? All I envision is a woman running on a perpetual treadmill, with a continuously increasing incline, who’s speed only increases. It never decreases. It never ends. All the while, she has a smile on her face that looks like she is straining every last ounce of her being. Slowly but surely, the life is being sucked out of her.
Is she even real? Is that even possible to take on more and more and more while “perfectly” balancing your life, your house, your spouse, your child or children, your responsibilities, your commitments…. Your family, your work, all the while projecting perfection, and happiness, and positivity? Hells no.
I don’t know why Supermom is the standard. I don’t know who she is, or where she came from. I don’t know where she is going, either.
It’s not possible. It’s not the standard to reach for. Supermom, you can do better for yourself. You can do better!
Real balance in life and in parenting is possible. I know it exists because I’ve seen it. Because on good days, it’s palpable. And here are some situations that may come up, and ways to avoid the Supermom trap:
- Evening commitment causing you stress? Skip it to have dinner at home with your family. Or, even better, grab some take-out on the way home from work! That meeting wasn’t that important, anyways. And home cooked meals can be overrated!
- Need to kill time before bedtime? Not in the mood to play, or read, or pretend? Put on a movie one evening mid-week to relax and unwind with the family on the couch. Your kids will like the extra screen time that day. And you will, too!
- A messy kitchen causing you stress? I guarantee it will be just as messy tomorrow, so if no ones cleaning them, leave the dishes in the sink for another night so that you can play with your kid or have a conversation with your spouse. A clean kitchen is everyone’s responsibility—not just yours!
- Your kid not wanting to get ready for the day and you know you will be late for work because of the situation? Take a step back from the power struggle with your toddler to “connect” with them for a moment before you lose your shit again and hastily take any more of their toys away. Yup, that happens. You’re probably not going to be late, and if you are, your boss will get nostalgic and understand that you’re a young parent in the throes of toddlerdom, and they will understand. Make up the time later that day! What’s an extra few minutes at work at the end of the day?
- And when all else fails, call on grandparents to babysit your kid to give them the quality time that they may be needing so that you can have a break. You deserve it, mom. Re-balance! No grandparents in town to take care of the kids? Take a day off, use a vacation day and send those kids to daycare. Because mommy needs a break!
That, to me, is a Supermom. Someone who does what is needed. Someone who realizes that balance is not just about the kids—it’s about you, too. You are a part of the family, and you need to take care of yourself. Sometimes its in the little things. Sometimes it’s whatever you need to do to complete the day, or get to bedtime, or me-time.
Let’s re-define the Supermom.