My name is Chantelle and I am a first time mom to a sweet little six and a half month old boy named Lucien. When I am not busy being a mom I love to cook, shop and read. Being part of the mommy connections blogger is something new and exciting for me and allows me to have an outlet for some of my thoughts. I can’t wait to share more of my life with you!
I have always been an anxious person and tend to overreact, but becoming a mom has definitely made that worse. Ever since I became pregnant my life turned into a state of constant worry. Is the baby ok? Why isn’t the baby kicking? What if the baby isn’t healthy? How much pain is childbirth going to cause me? What if we don’t have everything the baby needs before he comes? What if I’m not a good mom? These were just some of the things going through my head throughout my entire pregnancy. I could never just relax and stop worrying. I did not know how to just go with the flow. My partner continued to assure me EVERY SINGLE DAY that it was going to be ok.
My pregnancy and the birth of my baby boy did not go as planned. I ended up having high blood pressure and was on bed rest in the hospital until the doctors decided to induce me three and a half weeks early. To my surprise my labour was not progressing and I ended up having an emergency c section. That was the scariest day of my life thus far, but ended up in the most beautiful little baby boy I have ever laid eyes on. Now that the baby was finally here the anxiety and worry continued of course. Now I actually was a mom, I’ve never been a mom before. What do I do with this tiny human? How do I keep it alive? Nothing that I researched or read prepared me for how to actually be a mom. It was basically trial and error. What works for other moms and babies does not work for every mom and baby. So I had to figure this mom thing out, thank god I was not alone.
Lucien slept in our room in a pack and play for the first three months. The first two months were the hardest. Trying to recover from a C section all while taking care of a baby/ myself was proving to be almost impossible. Most of my days/ nights were spent on the couch or in bed. Between getting up in the middle of the night to feed the baby and checking if he was breathing 800 times a night I was exhausted. The newborn phase was over fast and I was starting to feel a bit better. I was actually starting to get the hang of this mom thing, heck, it even felt kind of natural to me. Maybe it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.
Fast forward, Lucien is now six and a half months old and the time has flown by. Now that I have the hang of this mom thing there is still always something for me to worry about it seems. I wonder if Lucien is meeting all his milestones, if he is gaining enough weight (he is tiny), if I am feeding him enough solids and when he is going to finally break that first tooth through. My partner and others still continue to reassure me that Lucien is perfectly fine and I am doing a great job as a mom, even though I don’t always feel that way.
Even though my anxiety will always get the best of me I am starting to realize that everything I worry about will not matter that much in the long run. He will get still get teeth, still walk, and still grow up. I am slowly learning to stop worrying about things I cannot control. Motherhood is a crazy, difficult journey, but it is definitely worth every single minute.