My name is Teri and I’m the proud mama of a beautiful, busy, hilarious, brilliant toddler and am expecting my second son later this year. Being a mom is a challenging and beautiful adventure that nothing else in my life prepared me for. Luckily, I have an amazing husband who is there through all the ups and downs, awesome friends who are happy to share their parenting knowledge (or at least laugh with me through the chaos!), and an extended family who is always ready to help. I work as a marketing and communications professional, and love sharing my experiences as a mom.
I’ve been called a perfectionist.
I’ve even referred to myself as one occasionally.
I have high expectations for myself, and basically always have. It’s ingrained in my personality, just like my stubborn streak and my grouchiness in the morning. I like to think I can manage it all, and I’m not usually the best at asking for help.
But now that we have one very busy toddler and another baby on the way, there have definitely been days or even weeks when I’m not even close to managing everything. Sure, I stay on top of things at work and my kid is dressed, bathed and fed every day (thanks in no small part to my husband’s help), but sometimes that’s all I have the energy for.
So I’ve been working on something else while I grow a child and try to enjoy the last months and weeks being a mom of one. I’m working on letting myself off the hook when I look around my house and see the laundry piling up, or the toys strewn all over the living room. Some days I have to reassure myself that good enough really is good enough—getting done only those things that really have to get done is totally acceptable every now and then.
This might not sound like a groundbreaking thought, but it’s a shift in thinking for me. It’s not that my house was always spotless before, or that things were never put off until the next day. But it used to happen less frequently, and so it was easier to brush off. Now that it happens more often, I have to also let go of the guilt—because rest isn’t really rest when you’re lying there obsessing about all the things you should be doing. Sometimes rest is what you should be doing right? Logically I know this—convincing myself of it isn’t always so easy.
So mamas, if you need an evening (or two or three) to take some time to do something for yourself, or just do nothing for anyone, do it. Those dishes and piles of laundry aren’t going anywhere (unfortunately!). And try not to beat yourself up about it—we’re all doing the best we can. And that really is good enough.