The Days He Dresses Her – Mommy Blogger

I’m a 24-year-old wife and new mom to our daughter “Baby G”, as I refer to her in my blogs.  She is the new adventure in our marriage and the smile bringer to our everyday.  She is the main character in my stories lately, as she teaches me something new every day.  I love writing about her and the everyday happenings of mommy life, so I’m extremely excited to join this blogging group!

“Oh, Daddy did her hair today. ”  What a statement; an expression so common from the mouths of moms everywhere.  A defensive move to protect mom and youngins from all those creatures just waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting victims of crooked pigtails…

I love the days my hubby gets Baby G ready – for so many reasons. And no, I don’t believe that leaving the house with Baby G in an unorthodox outfit poses any threat to our safety.

Reason #1.  On the mornings when he gets up before me and gets Baby G ready for the day, I get to start off my day by laying in bed, listening over the monitor as the two of them spend precious bonding moments together.  I get to listen to Baby G’s giggles as he sings her silly songs.  I am amused by the commentary he provides as he laments the buttons on her little outfits as opposed to zippers.  (He is perplexed at the idea of why any baby clothes company would choose to put snap buttons, or even worse, those pesky little traditional buttons, on their products instead of the trusted, easy to use zippers).  Yes, on the mornings when my hubby gets Baby G ready to go, I get to lay in bed with the most beautiful radio-monitor entertainment.  I would choose this radio programming over C95’s Break the Bank any day.

Reason #2.  On the days he gets Baby G ready to go, I get to look at her outfit all day (or as long as it lasts, which all moms know is almost always less than a day) and be reminded of the special effort that he put into selecting her clothes.  Are the outfits he chooses for her what I would choose? Almost never.  Actually, I can say with 99% certainty that the outfits he chooses for Baby G are never outfits that I would put together.  But he selects her outfits in meticulous, thoughtful ways that put a smile on my face.  One morning recently, he walked down the stairs with Baby G, announcing to me that she was having a Grey Cloudy day.  He demonstrated to me how she was modeling grey pants, with grey socks, a grey sweater, and a grey, clouded bib.  Would I ever dress our virtually bald baby girl, who already gets called a handsome baby boy by strangers, in all grey?  No, I wouldn’t.  But he did, and I loved every bit of the thought he put into her themed outfit.  On the days he dresses her, I get to look at her all day long and think, ‘wow, you have one awesome, caring Daddy’.

Reason #3.  The last reason I love when he dresses her isn’t as sentimental.  It is plainly and simply because it gives me a break.  Taking care of a baby all day is hard work.  I absolutely love my life, don’t get me wrong, but taking care of Baby G is tiring and the wonderful little bit of help it provides when he dresses her in the mornings before he leaves for work, is an awesome little treat.  This is my hubby telling me, “We are a team in this parenting thing” and I know he means it.

I love the days my hubby gets Baby G ready to go.  And this is why you won’t hear me mutter “Her daddy dressed her today”.  Unless, of course I’m poking fun at him like I did a bit in this blog.  But as parents, your little one provides you with an immense amount of joy and laughter, and sometimes it comes at the expense of each other.  And this is just another reason to love being a mom so darn much!

Ultimate Baby Shower

Mommy Connections Ultimate Baby Shower for Expectant Moms – September 13th at Ready Set Baby

 

Last Wednesday we hosting our Ultimate Baby Shower at Ready Set Baby. We have 30 wonderful expectant moms join us for this exclusive shopping party.

The moms enjoyed 15% off store wide (a few exceptions) and there was tons of shopping that was done!

Kerry with Kerry’s Photography was offering complimentary maternity photos for all the moms – I can’t wait to see them!

Chelsea from Vitae Doula Service and Jenn from The Mama Coach joined us and talked to the moms about breastfeeding. They talked about some of the benefits, supply and demand, when milk comes in, tongue and lip ties, pumping – including a demo of the Medela breastpump, and so much more!

Sabrina from Lead Pilates also joined us for this great evening. She talked to the moms about pre and post partum exercise and pelvic floor health. One lucky mom won a 10 class Mommy and Me Pilates pack!

We wrapped up our evening with a draw for the Medela Freestyle breastpump!

Can’t wait for our October event!

Shopping, Tears and Tantrums – Mommy Blogger

Debbie and her family moved to Canada in March 2017 from a small town just outside London, England. Before dipping a tentative toe in writing, Debbie was a Cancer nurse Specialist in London, however, the juggle of childcare, long commutes, family and work commitments with the ever rising costs made this, sadly, an impossible career to continue. Whilst trying to find a creative outlet and new niche in life Debbie learnt to make tea cup candles, buy craft supplies that never got used and discovered the joys of blogging and writing.

The last Saturday of the summer holidays saw this family in Midtown plaza, like many others, getting those final things we needed before the new school term starts.

After some relatively serious shopping, long sleeved tops and trousers that fitted were the order of the day (as a side note, is it just me that dislikes the experience of shopping in Sears) we stopped in the food court for lunch.

Now, normally that makes for a happy family, our boys filling their tummies and us parents having a rest, but not that day.

And this is where my issue lays.

We bought the chosen lunch items for our 9 and 7 year olds who happily began devouring them. Our 21 month old, decided that he was the worlds most dedicated Daddies boy that day.

When my husband dared to leave the table, to go and get our lunch the yelling began.

He had the biggest toddler melt down the world has ever seen, whilst still strapped into his stroller.

His face turned every colour variation and shade of red and purple, his screams felt like the toddler equivalent of standing next to a jet aeroplane engine on full power thrust and his rigid little body looked like he was competing in the North American Planking Position championships.

So during this display of disgust at my husband’s move away from the table, I am trying very hard to placate my youngest child.

I rock the stroller in a rhythmic fashion, I shushhhh in what I hope are calming tones, I offer a toy car, toddler book, a drinking straw wrapper, some French fries, my soul…. something, anything that I can find that may take his mind off the seeming devastation that he is apparently experiencing. To bring this tantrum down from a 10 to maybe even just a more manageable 9.5, but no.

Whilst this is going on, my lunch eating two boys carry on without a care in the world, unlike me.

I think I probably now resemble some sort of frantic woman, pushing the stroller back and forth gently but perhaps a little more forcefully, clutching onto the various items of bribery I’ve offered to my still screaming son.

As I look around, I am shocked at the number of unimpressed faces, predominately female, that are staring right at me.

I totally understand that you don’t want to listen to my young son cry.

I know this is your Saturday lunchtime that our noise is disturbing.

Maybe some people are thinking “why doesn’t she just walk the stroller away from here”? I absolutely would if I could but I can’t leave my older two boys alone. I really am trying my very best to calm him down, but now I feel the added pressure of what feels like a 100 pairs of eyes boring into me.

Not one person that I saw staring at us smiled, or gave the nod of understanding, or even looked away.

I am really sorry if we disturbed you, I truly am.

Suddenly my husband arrives slightly out of breath and offering me apologises that he has been as fast as could be, after paying for our food he ran over to us to take the stroller and our devastated son (who incidentally, has now stopped crying that he has seen his Daddy) and took him back with him to collect the food that was waiting for his collection.

As I watch the back of my husband and the stroller walking away I suddenly feel like I could cry.

I felt embarrassed, judged, at that moment a failure and so, so sad.

The rest of the afternoon went by uneventfully.

Everyone had something to eat (eventually), we bought the things that we had needed to get, plus a few more and we learned that our wilful toddler son has very healthy lungs that can power the loudest cries this side of South Saskatchewan River.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Great Debate – Mommy Blogger

Elyse Lalonde has always called Saskatoon home. She started on the motherhood journey in the Summer of 2015 when she had her son. Elyse is a working mom, always seeking a fine balance in life with a busy toddler. As a MommyConnections “alumnus,” she enjoys socializing with moms and babies her son’s age. Elyse has always enjoyed writing and journaling, and hopes to share her experiences (good, bad, and sarcastic) with the online parenting community in Saskatoon.

I have a little boy. He turned two this summer. He likes cars, and trucks, and planes, and trains, and tractors, and diggers… More specifically, he is into garbage, cement and fire trucks, bulldozers, and, oddly enough, trailers. As his mom, I try my best to follow where his interests lead. I show him YouTube videos of all of the above, and have compiled some great, and slightly odd, videos that we play on a rotational basis. There’s nothing like the soothing sound of garbage trucks on an Ipad propped up in bed with pillows, early on a Saturday morning, with our son laying in bed with us (thank you, Trash N Trash Productions!) People buy him trucks and toys with wheels for his birthday and holidays. My living room has become a machine “shop”, with my son frequently lying on the floor, belly down, examining how the wheels and parts move altogether.

I love watching my son’s excitement as he sees these real-life items. For his second birthday, I took him to the airport to watch the airplanes land, and spent 45 minutes with him glued to the window in excitement. (A lady came up to us and asked who we were waiting for. “Grandma,” I said. Then, I slowly took my son’s hand, turned and strode away, back to our car to pay for parking. Suffice it to say it was the best $2 I’ve ever spent).

I’ve always been a person who’s maintained that little boys and girls are more similar than different. Within the last few months, I’ve started to notice certain differences become visible. I see the actions and interests of my son, versus, say, my niece. My niece, who’s 5 months older than my son, is into strollers and dolls, and pretend makeup and dress-up. Don’t get me wrong, she’s into cars and getting dirty, and my son is into teddy’s and babies, and feeding/talking to his lovies, but I’ve witnessed various differences unfold. For instance, my son watches me get ready in the morning, but seemingly has no interest in makeup. The limited occasions where he has expressed interest, I shared the experience with him by brushing some blush on his cheeks. In another home, on another morning, my niece sees her mom get ready for the day, and her mom is regularly willing to share the makeup experience.

Once, when we were all together, both kids were given the option of the same pretend makeup toy/kit: my niece was interested in playing with it, but my son was not.

Why? What has happened here. Is it just me? I ask myself, why wouldn’t he be as interested in the toy…?

I am taking a risk with this subject. There are those with their own opinions, and I want to be respectful of them, because the conversation is large, and complicated. I can only speak from my experience, but regardless of the dialog, I do believe I would arrive at the same resolution. Bear with me here.

When I dig a bit deeper, I begin to question my behaviour more and more. Am I selecting experiences that I don’t want to share with my son? Yes, I offered to play makeup with him… but even in writing this entry, I have already caught myself in a perception of “my son is not really that interested in makeup, and therefore, I won’t go out of my way to put makeup on his face for fun because it’s not THAT much fun for him…” I compare different kids with different personalities, with different experiences and exposure to things. And yet, I believe I’m witnessing this age as the breaking point where gender differences begin to take off. But do these differences really, truly exist? Yes, they may. And no, not really.

Again, is it acting on expectation, reacting to personality, or are we truly programmed to treat boys and girls differently? Is it narrow-mindedness and forced selection where I, myself, begin to put these kids into a box? I spend a lot of time thinking about this, dissecting and breaking down situations and other people’s behaviors…. I also have a degree in Psychology. Surprised?

It all comes to a head one night, not too long ago. I’m sitting at the park with my son. It is just me and him. The time is shortly after the supper hour. One by one, kids and their parents begin to arrive to play at the park. At first, my son begins playing with an older boy in the sand. It was fun to watch how they dug through the sand, and swept the playground structure with the dirt- just having plain old fun.

A little girl shows up to the park, walks over to the boys, and what does she do? She starts to play, too. Instantly gets right in to playing in the sand with the boys. And in that moment, I realized—it doesn’t matter who’s playing with what, girl or boy, be it dolls or dirt. It has never mattered. What matters is they’re kids, playing as kids, living their lives as kids. They are individuals. This little girl may very well like dresses, and jewelry, and hair clips, but maybe she also gets dirty, and won’t sit still, and plays rough. My son may like to play with trucks, and wrestle with his dad, but he likes to sit and read books, and colour, and cuddle his stuffed animals.

At the end of the day, none of it matters. But our society makes it matter, through bombardments of “girl vs. boy” kid clothing, cartoons, advertisements and toys. I am working hard to challenge what I think I see, and what I may attribute to “status quo” facets of identity. I strive, and will continue to strive, towards inclusiveness of the definition of gender. This is not black and white- there’s a whole, colourful spectrum for children to explore, to find out what unique attributes make them who they are. At the end of the day, that is what matters. The freedom to be themselves, without judgment or criticism.

I am writing down my observations, not only to challenge myself, but as a way to challenge others to look at their perspectives on the limits we knowingly or unkowingly put on girls and boys, and focus on the similarities, or the combination of traits that makes us all who we are—as individuals. As adults, and as kids at play. And bear in mind, that perception is the only thing at play here.

 

 

 

 

Weirdos – Mommy Blogger

My name is Amanda Braschuk. I’ve been married to my amazing husband Paul for 5 years, together for 8.  He works away from home which can make life a little crazy when I’m parenting solo.  My daughter Zoey is 2.5 years old, she is the most beautiful little girl I’ve ever seen.  My son Asher is one, he is incredibly handsome and really mischievous.  I also have two dogs who think they are human, which is only fair because in this house fur babies are family too!

Children are complex tiny creatures. It takes an abundance of patience, deep breaths, eye rolling and understanding to parent. I marvel in awe at their incredible personalities. Often I find myself lost on how to figure out these little beings I produced. Aiming to keep in mind they are discovering our world through fresh absorbing eyes, every now and then I can’t comprehend the things they say or do.

What they are inclined to put in their mouths! My daughter wasn’t very troublesome in regards to mouth exploration but my son is ruthless. He puts EVERYTHING in his mouth. Sometimes he will wait until he’s dipped his hand in the toilet (who wouldn’t) but nevertheless, it is going in his mouth. He isn’t picky, whether its dirty laundry, shoes or the stick the dog chews on, he will desire a taste. Dirt!! I get it, a rite of passage for kids, they eat dirt. I know I sampled my fair share more than once but he revels in mouthfuls. Mouth. Full. Of dirt! I don’t understand. It surely doesn’t taste good and it can’t feel good either. I have observed him regretful afterwards, waving his fingers at his tongue to get it out. I bring his water bottle for him to rinse his mouth. Do you know what happens when you mix water with dirt? Google: how much mud is safe for a toddler to swallow?

The thoughts they have are puzzling. Who would ever conceive the notion of wiping your nose would entail emptying an entire box of Kleenex and ensuring every room of the house is equipped with its own supply of tissue? My daughter, that’s who. Perhaps I should be impressed with her reasoning, did she figure how convenient it would be to reach under the fridge for a loose tissue instead trudging to the bathroom? I have a feeling her motivation was a little different than I imagined. If you didn’t know, a similar concept applies to toilet paper use. More than less, unraveling half to a full roll should suffice your needs. I believe this is a matter of effectiveness rather than convenience. Although, wrapping her brother and part of the dog influence the usage equation so I can’t help wonder if she has an ulterior motive.

Their uncontrollable passion for everyday details we consider insignificant. The purple spoon can never, under any circumstance, be used for rice. Unless, it’s Tuesday and supper is 15 minutes later than usual and the purple spoon is dirty then it is most certainly used for rice. It’s rather shocking the disastrous outcomes capable of resulting once an unacceptable utensil is offered. Of course, disagreeable behaviours are not limited to cutlery alone. My son once cried for 10 minutes because he couldn’t unload an empty washing machine. Fingers crossed his enthusiasm for laundry will continue into adolescence but I won’t hold my breath. During breakfast my daughter absolutely unraveled because her brother was staring at her Cheerios. Three days later she was extremely insulted when he wouldn’t look. Did you know the wrong flavoured yogurt can prompt ear piercing screams? Spoiler alert: I selected the wrong facecloth for bath time.

Our responsibility as parents is not to decipher odd and unpredictable manners. We are to lead them, teach them right from wrong and, on occasion, give in and wash the dirty green plate because evidently it’s the only way the grill cheese will be enjoyable. Kids will be kids, they eat dirt, they make messes and their miseries are all consuming. Acknowledging opportunities to introduce proper behaviour is essential in helping them identify their crazy big world. I had my daughter help clean up the Kleenex. Surprisingly, to her this seemed to be as pleasurable as emptying the box in the first place. I may not understand why my youngsters do certain things but I admire their innocence and never-ending bliss found in simple matters. There won’t be an explanation for everything, nor does there have to be. We can’t expect to understand someone who has yet to figure out themselves and their environment.

Be patient, take a deep breath, roll your eyes if you have to and go wash the red cup because it’s almost lunchtime and you can’t serve milk in something blue.

Baby Bistro Q and A

This week we enjoyed our first Baby Bistro. It was a great morning with some wonderful Saskatoon and area moms. This was a causal, conversation based event, where the moms could feel comfortable asking their breastfeeding questions, sharing their successes and get support and suggestions for their struggles. The goal of this event is for everyone to feel empowered for how they chose to fed their child as well as provide the moms with information and answers to all their questions.

We have 2 wonderful women at the event to answer questions and provide support. Chelsea with Vitae Doula Service who is a doula, lactation educator and registered dietitian and Jenn with The Mama Coach who is a pediatric nurse and breastfeeding educator.

SOME QUESTIONS FROM OUR MOMS:

Q: “When my letdown starts it can be quite painful, is this normal?”

A:  Letdown varies person to person and can vary between feedings. Sometimes the pins and needles feeling can be fairly intense. This was a fairly new mom experiencing this so the pins and needles may decrease in intensity as breastfeeding becomes established.

Q: “My baby seems to suffer from painful gas, is there anything I can do?”

A: Try pumping baby’s legs. Use one finger and make a soft, circular motion over baby’s bellybutton in a clockwise direction.

Q “I seem to sweat during nursing, especially at night – is this normal?”

A: This can be due to hormone changes. It takes some time for hormone levels to level out after having a baby. Some moms suggested using a fan while nursing and having it pointing right at you to keep you cool

Q: “Milk blister – I have a milk blister on one of my breasts, it comes and goes all the time, is there something I can do so it stays away?”

A: Try checking the latch. Change the position you nurse baby in to see if that helps. Try and drain the whole breast at each feeding.

Q: “Very sore, cracked nipples – I’ve seen 2 doctors about it with no help – anything I can do?”

A: Has anyone you have gone to checked baby’s latch? – no. It was suggested that one of the lactation educators could check the latch. Try changing baby’s feeding position – sometimes having baby in a different position can help.

Q: “Cluster feeding  – my baby is up during the night more often and feeding a lot – why?”

A: Cluster feeding is completely normal. When baby is working towards learning a new skill, like rolling over or crawling or when they are going through a growth spurt they will eat more than usual.         

What I learned From Potty Training – Mommy Blogger

Nicole Betker is a mother, wife, rabid Toronto Blue Jays fan and a pop culture junkie. Always having an opinion or something to say, it’s time this journalism grad found a place to share her musings on the acts of “adulting”.

Potty training.

There I said it. I used the dirty word. I used the word that makes parents cringe or hide in a corner shaking.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – parenting is the most rewarding and most challenging thing I have ever done – and easily potty training can go at the top of that parenting list.

My son is potty trained. Standing ovation for him and standing ovation for me.

How did I do it? Patience – something I have very little of.

It was pretty easy to see he was ready. He’s a smart little boy and I knew he could handle it.

So I sacrificed a week of my holidays with him in the middle of summer to spend indoors with him half naked learning to go to the potty.

The roller coaster of achievement and setbacks was like no other. One minute he had it and the next minute we had gone through five pair of shorts in three hours.

I did the one thing I’ve learned to be helpful at times in parenting – I shut out the world. I agree that no person can raise a child without support from friends, family, daycare – but sometimes all the noise, all the advice needs to stop. Nobody knows your kid like you do and nobody knows what your kid is capable of more than you. Trust it.

I selected the method. I started the method and stuck to it -no matter how hard it seemed. I didn’t google every aspect (a path that led me astray with other parenting topics). I went with what made sense to me and made sense for him.

And after hitting rock bottom one Sunday morning – and by rock bottom, I mean peed on the couch rock bottom – he got it.

It took 2 weeks. But he got it.

He’s not perfect and there’s been few and far between accidents since. But we are now a diaper free daytime household.

So moral of my little tale:

Don’t fear the potty. Don’t fear the frustration. Your kid can do it and so can you.

 

You Are Not Alone – Mommy Blogger

My name is Christina Hnatiuk. I am a new mom of a 6 month old baby boy, Marshall. I am married to a wonderful man, we will have been together for 5 years, married for two. I work full time in Human Resources and part time as a Ukrainian dance instructor. I love to try new things, especially new restaurants and food. In my free time, which is hardly ever, I love to bake, specializing in cheesecakes. This is my first time writing a blog but I am looking forward to sharing my adventures in parenting with everyone!

One day you go to bed with this sweet newborn baby, the next thing you know you are chasing after this wild and crazy one year old, and you wonder where that whole year went.  Every day is a blank slate when you have kids. Nothing is predictable, nothing is set in stone. And at the end of the day you lay in bed and wonder am I screwing this up?

My little guy turned one this past July. The last year has been a complete blur. I swear we just took him home from the hospital and now he is climbing stairs and practically running all over the house. It’s hard not to question if the decisions you made in that year are going to completely screw up your kid. I mean, I think these things 24/7. They say kids can’t remember things before the age of two, but I can’t help but think that he might ask me at 18, “remember that time you left me with grandma and grandpa and I was crying and you just left?”. I stare at my ceiling at night and think of all the things that happened in the day, and whether that was the right choice. I love my son so much that I question whether giving him a bottle cold cause I was too tired to warm it up is going to turn him into a delinquent as an adult. Yes, I have seriously thought about this. But really, he’s fed, and probably didn’t really care that the bottle was a bit cold.

I’m no parenting expert but here are some things that I have learned in the last year that I sometimes need to remind myself:

Fed is Best

Yes, we have heard it a million times, but it is 100% true. I had so many issue breast feeding and stopped after 4 months. I dealt with a lot of guilt and really felt as though my son was missing out on that special bond. But honestly those middle of the night feedings were still filled with cuddles and nourishment. And this way daddy can take a couple shifts and he gets that special bond too. And he probably will be fine if you give him the bottle cold….

Working mom vs. SAHM

I have an older sister and she had kids 4 years before I even had my first. With her first she went back to work. But with her 2nd she decided to be a stay at home mom. She runs her own business out of her home and a daycare, so not only taking care of her own kids, but other peoples too. I always looked at her and thought man she is super mom. I went back to work after four months, for many different reasons and I felt guilty all the time. “I should be at home, I should be super mom too.” But the truth is I was my own kind of super mom. I worked 8 hours a day, ran to pick up my kid, and still had to get groceries, clean, make supper…. No one is better than anyone else, we are all super heroes in our own way.

Get used to the Mom Shamers

If you follow any sort of social media at all you have seen them, Mom shamers or “sancti-mommys”. They are this rare breed of perfect parents who don’t lay awake at night wondering if they screwed up their kids’ lives, because they never make mistakes. Seriously, they are just like everyone else, they just hide behind the social media curtain throwing hurtful statements out and are “protected” from any of the recoil. I have heard it all, from being shamed for having a C-section, which was an emergency, to being shamed for not breast feeding, to being shamed for going back to work so early. If you put yourself out there they will find you, and they will shame. Make sure you spend your time building other mom’s up, because the rest of us are all lying awake at night questioning our every move.

People Opinions

Unfortunately, people don’t keep to social media with their opinions. You will get people who feel the need to come up to you in public and tell you what they think you are doing wrong. Politely thank those people with a smile and then continue to do whatever you were doing because the fact is they didn’t make or birth that baby, so they don’t get an opinion.

Babies Cry

Seriously, all the time. And there will be times that you cannot fix the problem. It’s so hard to watch your kid scream and cry, and you want to try everything to fix it, to make it better. There will be a time when you can’t. You WILL feel defeated, you PROBABLY will cry yourself and you MIGHT feel like giving up. Don’t worry we have all been there and it probably will be ok.

Babies Get Sick

My son got an ear infection at the beginning of August, and then we found out he is probably allergic to penicillin. That week he also got 3 new teeth. Believe me it was hell.  But he got better and we all survived, barely. Don’t be afraid to take them to the doctor, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Those nights when he was sick, I wouldn’t have survived without my mom. The 811-health line is also a great resource if you have questions or concerns.

Food Favorites Change on the Daily

My kid loved yogurt a month ago, couldn’t get enough of it. This month, it’s like it was dog food. Kids tastes change constantly. Especially when trying new foods. Be prepared to make meals that they won’t eat. It happens, and they will figure it out eventually, I hope.

Honestly, if you love your baby, if you keep them safe, fed, happy and healthy to the best of your ability, then you are doing everything right. Believe me, I still lay awake at night questioning everything, but I also look over at the monitor and see that sweet sleeping baby boy and think, “I made this, I shaped and molded this and everything will be ok”. Being a parent is hard, and from what I can tell it just gets harder. I imagine we as parents will question every decision we make till the day we die, but if we remember it will all be ok, maybe, just maybe, we will survive.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. The mom in E.T. had an alien living in her house for days and didn’t notice.”

 

 

Supportive Moms – Mommy Blogger

My name is Jordi McCallum and I am 28 years old.  I am a Dewatering Technologist for a uranium mine up north and am currently on my one year maternity leave.  I have been with my husband since I was 16 years old and we have been married for almost 5 years.  This year we had a beautiful baby girl named Kennedy and she has completely turned our lives upside down in the best way.  I decided to start my own blog discussing my life as a first time mom.  I wanted to have place where I could look back on all of the good times and bad, but mostly the good and reminisce.  After spending countless hours on google searching basically every tiny little thing I could starting from pregnancy to birth to newborns to make sure that my baby was okay I decided to start my own blog, I wanted it to be down to earth and real and something that I would have liked to have access to when I was looking.  Most importantly I wanted to create a space that has no judgement- you can follow me @kennedyloye on Instagram or www.lifeofkennedy.com to read all about my life as a first time mom.

 

When I first learned I was pregnant but especially once I had my baby, I did countless hours of research online regarding everything and anything about babies and being a mom.  I couldn’t believe how much “mommy shaming” there was. It was scary!  Reading all the posts from all these different moms calling other moms bad parents just because they were doing something different.  There are so many awful comments online that it really makes you second guess yourself and what you are doing.  We live in a society where everyone has an opinion and a keyboard and its really hard to do right by everybody. So lets make a change starting right now, the next time you think you need to criticize another mom remember how hard it was when you were raising your babies.  Remember those nights at 3 am when you are so tired and your baby was screaming and you wanted nothing more than a little sleep.  Remember those days when your baby wanted to eat every hour and you would give anything for her to take a bottle so you could get a break.  Remember how emotional you were right after baby was born and how a hurtful comment could cause a huge upset in your day. Remember how much you worried about your baby and how everyday there was always something new.  Remember how someone gave you advice or an opinion on what to do but it never worked for you and your baby.  Being a mom can be so overwhelming, especially for a first time mom where the learning curve is so steep.  All moms need our encouragement and our support.  They need to be told they are doing a good job, not that they are doing it wrong, in the end you just need to do what is best for you.  Women should be empowering each other not bringing each other down.

 

When I think of the things moms face daily it makes me very sad, some examples:

 

Baby is on formula- you are a quitter, your baby will not be healthy.

 

Baby is solely breastfed- overachiever, crunchy mom.

 

You are going back to work- don’t you love your kids enough to stay home.

 

Stay at home mom- you are lazy.

 

Baby is immunized- your baby is going to get sick from those shots (I am a full supporter of immunization by the way).

 

Had an epidural- you are weak.

 

Refused a epidural- you are a show off.

 

Had a C-section- you failed. 

 

You are emotional- you probably have post partum, you may be harmful to your baby.

 

Co- sleeper- you are putting your child in danger. 

 

Crib sleeper- your child is unnurtured. 

 

Sleep training- you are heartless.

 

And I could go on and on but I think I made my point.  Being a mom is hard for all of us, and these opinions that are constantly driven into our brains need to be addressed.  Why do we feel the constant need to judge each other and bring each other down when we are all just trying to do that same thing?  We are all striving to raise our beautiful children in a happy healthy environment.  We need to reach out a helping hand when we see another mom struggling, and we need to bite our tongues when we don’t agree (as long as they are not causing harm of course).  Because frankly no one needs, or wants to hear negative often hurtful comments.

 

When Kennedy was first born the nurses immediately got me breastfeeding her.  I was more than happy to do that as I wanted to breastfeed my baby, but the epidural had worked a little too well and I was numb to my neck.  I couldn’t feel how aggressive she was sucking (she came out very hungry) and I don’t think she was latched properly so she did some real damage.  Both my nipples completely scabbed and were bleeding.  It hurt so much once the numbing wore off, turns out it was a good distraction from the other pain I had from giving birth.  I tried for the next two days to continue breastfeeding and cried every time because of the pain but the nurses kept telling me to keep trying so I started to think it was normal and I just needed to suffer through it.  A few people I know made me feel I was just being a baby about it so I felt super guilty and kept trying even though I desperately wanted to stop.  It wasn’t until the nurse came to my house a couple days after Kennedy was born to do her checks when she told me I should stop for a couple days, that it wasn’t normal and it should not hurt as much as it was.  I was so thankful to finally have a nurse tell me it was okay to give my baby formula for a few days until I heal because I was feeling super guilty about it.  To this day we are still feeding half breastmilk and half formula, I just can’t get my supply where it needs to be and my baby eats SO much!  Im doing what I can for her and I don’t feel ashamed to say that she is not completely breastfed.  No mom or anyone else has the right to make me feel that way.  Looking back I’m surprised I let a couple opinions bother me and make me feel guilty, but after you have just had a baby your emotions are pretty out of whack and Kennedy being my first child I wasn’t exactly sure what I was doing so the opinions of others especially nurses have a big impact.

 

I have worked 96+ weeks, on call 24 hours a day, busting my butt with very physical work.  My new role as a mom is hands down, the hardest job I have ever had.  Especially with the internet and all its judgement.  It is a big deal being completely responsible for another life, especially when they are so little and all you do is worry about them all the time.  Every mom knows how difficult it can be.  I have an amazing, content little girl but I still have bad days and struggle to keep it all together.  Why would I ever put another mom down because she does something differently then I do when I know exactly how she feels?

 

So heres to you all you mommies out there!  Each and everyone of you are doing a great job and I salute you.  No one said it was going to be easy so give yourself a break and don’t listen to anything those keyboard warriors have to say, you are doing everything right!

An Ode to Friends on Both Sides – Mommy Blogger

I’m a 24-year-old wife and new mom to our daughter “Baby G”, as I refer to her in my blogs.  She is the new adventure in our marriage and the smile bringer to our everyday.  She is the main character in my stories lately, as she teaches me something new every day.  I love writing about her and the everyday happenings of mommy life, so I’m extremely excited to join this blogging group!

Before Baby G I was a teacher.  There is a saying in the teaching profession that you need teacher friends… and you need non-teacher friends.  There is a great deal of truth to this, and here’s why.  You need people close to you that can relate to life spent in a classroom of small humans all day, people who appreciate the corky ways we do things that spring from the inevitable happenings of a classroom of creative, expanding minds we call students.  But as a teacher, you also need friends who have no clue about life inside school doors, no understanding of the teaching profession, and really have more interest in talking about anything BUT teaching.  Why?  Because it’s refreshing and healthy to remember that there is more going on in the world than being a 5th grade teacher.

I’m sure you know where I’m going with this.  Now with Baby G, my hubby and I couldn’t be more thankful for our friends on both sides of the baby vortex.  First, to our friends with kids: Thank you beyond measure for your equally drooly, sometimes messy, visits where we can mix up our baby voice and our adult voice, discuss baby’s poop without thinking twice, drop a conversation mid sentence to answer baby’s babble, and show up with spare clothes for ourselves without question.  Thank you for your mutual conversation as if babies are in fact the center of the universe.  No one quite understands this except parents themselves, and it would be inconsiderate to monopolize the conversation this way with anyone else.  But you, our fellow parent friends, are in it with us and will indulge in that “nothing but baby” chat that is more addicting than celebrity gossip…or teacher stories.

Now, to our baby-less friends.  We can’t thank you enough for your friendship, with a complete understanding that it’s not easy being friends with people who have a permanent sidekick who has the ability to be a real party pooper (no pun intended).  You inevitably hear baby stories that are a lot more exciting to the people telling them than they are to the listener.  You agree to go for drinks at restaurants with less than amazing décor, and cups of crayons on the tables when you could be enjoying a new club with half price shots.  And you continue to make plans with us even though our track record for cancelling due to sick baby, teething baby, tired baby, or tired mommy and daddy isn’t very good.  From our perspective, getting together with you means conversation that steers away from baby talk for a change.  It is a reminder that, as much as we love Baby G, we are interesting people in other ways too.  Your friendship reminds us that finding the best deal on diapers is not the most important thing in the world, and that most people don’t care if baby food is organic or not, so our time spent pushing our agenda could be better spent elsewhere.  Baby-less friends, we appreciate you so very much.

Bottom line, friends are important, no matter where they are along life’s path.  Getting to be a fellow stroller roller sometimes and then being that one friend who brings entertainment in the form of a tiny human on other occasions, are both reasons to love being a mom so darn much!