I’m a Part-Time Single Mother – Mommy Blogger

06/04/2017

My name is Christina Hnatiuk. I am a new mom of a 6 month old baby boy, Marshall. I am married to a wonderful man, we will have been together for 5 years, married for two. I work full time in Human Resources and part time as a Ukrainian dance instructor. I love to try new things, especially new restaurants and food. In my free time, which is hardly ever, I love to bake, specializing in cheesecakes. This is my first time writing a blog but I am looking forward to sharing my adventures in parenting with everyone!

I recently read a blog called “You Can’t ‘Single Mom It’ If You’re Not a Single Mom”. Now while I agree with a good chunk of what this mother is saying I do have some issues as well. The general idea of her blog is that you shouldn’t call yourself a single mother or say you are single momming it, because there are actual single moms out there with no help and no support. I 100% agree. I cannot imagine being a single mother everyday of that child’s life. But my issue comes with the fact that she says that this also applies to people whose husbands work out of town. This bothers me. Peoples whose husbands work out of town are alone for those day, weeks, month or years. Yes, there may be some financial support, great. Sure, you can talk on the phone, awesome. But what about all those late nights, middle of the night feedings, days where the kid(s) are sick or hurt. What about when you haven’t showered in 3 days because you just don’t have time, or your house is a disaster because you just don’t have the energy to clean it. What about when your child is screaming because they want to be held but you just want 5 mins of alone time. What are these days classified as??

When I first met my husband 5 years ago, his job was one of the things that attracted me to him. He didn’t do it for money, but did it because he loved it and I loved that he had passion and drive. My husband is a golf professional and works April to October. For the first 2 years of our relationship my husband worked at a golf course here at home, but then received a position, his dream job, at a course 2.5 hours away. Sure 2.5 hours seems like nothing considering how far I’m sure other people’s husbands work. The distance wasn’t an issue for the first 2 summers, I drove up on weekends, or while I was pregnant, stayed for most of the summer. The problem is I chose to go back to work at 4 months’ post-partum. My husband was home all winter and it worked out great! Now my husband is back up north working and I’m alone.

Every day is a struggle. I am always rushed to get out the door in the morning, often forgetting half the things I need. I rely on my parents and in-laws to babysit while I’m at work. I spend my days thinking about my kid, my dog and my husband. I pick up my son, and head home, where I give him something to eat. By the time he’s done its close to 7 and its pretty much bed time. My son isn’t the best at bedtime so I usually have to lay with him till he falls asleep. By the time the bedtime ordeal is over its pretty much bedtime for myself. No supper, no alone time, most nights I don’t even get a shower.

I am in no way saying that I have it as hard a single mother, but I feel like one for these 6 months. Although I have the financial support, and the opportunity to talk to my husband, he’s not here to support me through the everyday duties that come with parenting. Not only is it hard on my son, and me but I can’t begin to understand how my husband feels.  Our situation isn’t easy but it the one we chose.

Parenting isn’t easy; it’s especially tough when you go it alone.  I am not a single mother, but for six months of the year I feel like one and I don’t think by saying that I am minimalizing anyone else journey. Instead I feel like I am praising those moms for doing this all the time. I often have to remind myself how lucky I am to have support for part of the time. I am a part-time single mother and I’m proud to say it.